Bystander tips to help prevent gendered violence
Covid-19 has really brought home the seriousness of domestic and family violence and why it has been dubbed the ‘shadow pandemic’, which makes this year’s White Ribbon Day our most important opportunity ever to learn, give and take action.
Before stay-at-home restrictions came into play, we knew that violence against women was a leading contributor to illness, disability and premature death for women aged between 15 and 44 years.1 Children whose mothers experienced intimate partner violence were found to have higher rates of social and emotional problems than other children.2
Then, in 2020 as the impacts of Covid-19 were felt, an alarming 56 women were killed in violent acts in Australia, the vast majority committed by men in domestic or family violence situations, in what domestic violence lawyer Belinda Robinson described as the most horrific year on record for everyone working in the sector. This equated to on average one woman every nine days.3
There was also a sharp increase in help-seeking for domestic and family violence, as much as five-fold in some countries, in surveys looking at calls to helplines.
The risk factor of working from home
For people at risk of partner violence, working from home increases their risk. The flow-on effects of social isolation and restricted movement have resulted in some people experiencing abuse – specifically in the form of coercive control, physical or sexual violence – for the first time, and for others there has been an increase in frequency or severity of abuse.3
In terms of taking preventative action on violence against women, it’s crucial we get to the bottom of the many causal factors and examine the gender unequal attitudes that give rise to them. This has been a major focus in En Masse domestic and family violence training for workplaces, as it impacts women in the workforce as well as their co-workers who are potential bystanders that can make a difference.
Remember that for many people experiencing domestic and family violence, the workplace may be their only safe haven and only opportunity to seek help or have someone direct them to support options. Being able to respond is one thing. But as bystanders or "active upstanders" there are things we can say during everyday conversations that can help reshape the culture for women, and this plays a vital role in helping to prevent disrespect escalating into violence down the track.
Prepared responses for bystanders
Lately we’ve been seeing TV advertisements that encourage people to call out gender unequal remarks, attitudes or comments. The message, quite rightly, is that it’s not okay to talk to, or about, women in such a way. While that message is simple, the challenge for most of us is knowing how to respond. “What can I say to address the disrespectful comments or jokes?”
Having a few prepared responses can make us feel more confident to step in. Also anticipating challenging questions, surprise or other reactions from the person making the remarks and being ready for that, can make a difference to how confident we feel to step in. It’s also okay to acknowledge to the other person that this is not a comfortable thing for you or for them.
The sorts of ‘push back’ or comments you will hear from people include “No one can say or do anything anymore!” or “ I’ve had enough of this PC crap” or “What gives you the right to tell me how to behave?”
In anticipation of these responses, be ready to turn things around to ask: “What is it exactly that you are not able to do anymore?” or “Do you mean that it’s not appropriate that you can no longer say things that are disrespectful to women?” or it might be “Is being respectful politically correct?”
If you overhear someone calling out a disrespectful remark, you can support them by saying something such as: “Yes – I agree, that’s not on”, or “I feel the same way – I wouldn’t like it if that remark was about my sister / mother / wife.”
We know that constructive bystander intervention is the primary means of preventing violence against women, and is a strong enabler of change, so think about what you can say and support others who have the courage to call out disrespectful comments. It will make a difference.
En Masse is an approved provider of workplace programs in domestic and family violence and provides practical guidance for how workplaces can contribute to the prevention of gendered violence. Contact us today to discuss a program tailored for your people.
Domestic and family violence support services
- 1800 Respect National Helpline: 1800 737 732
- Women's Crisis Line: 1800 811 811
- Men's Referral Service: 1300 766 491
- Mensline: 1300 789 978
- Lifeline (24-hour Crisis Line): 131 114
- Relationships Australia: 1300 364 277
References
- Ayre et al. (2016). Examination of the burden of disease of intimate partner violence against women in 2011. Sydney: ANROWS. Retrieved from: https://www.anrows.org.au/publication/examination-of-the-burden-of-disease-of-intimate-partner-violence-against-women-in-2011-final-report/
- Shin H., Rogers H. & Law V. (2015). Domestic violence in the Longitudinal Study of Australian Children. Canberra: Department of Social Services. Retrieved from: https://www.dss.gov.au/sites/default/files/documents/01_2016/research_summary_no_2_2015_5_jan_2016.pdf
- Champions of Change Coalition (2021). Playing our Part. A Framework for Workplace Action on Domestic and Family Violence. Retrieved from: https://championsofchangecoalition.org/resource/playing-our-part-a-framework-for-workplace-action-on-domestic-and-family-violence/
